The Maiden's Role in Support

Postpartum is a notoriously difficult time for mothers. After the birth of a child, external focus moves off of the mother and onto the baby. The previous lavished attention and concern moves from the mother to the baby. 

It is easy to imagine how this shift can make new mothers feel alone, unnoticed, taken for granted, and tired. When a woman does not have the time to bask in new motherhood and feel loved and special, she may feel like she and her place in motherhood are not special. This unfortunate feeling is exacerbated by postpartum depression and post-natal complications. There is also some consideration to be done about whether this shift in focus may be a contributing factor in postpartum depression and anxiety.

I posit that proper postpartum care is the work of multiple people, and that maidens should stand up for this responsibility. Modern families, for the most part, do not move in the true context of community. The flow of the family within a society is no longer experienced as supportive and enveloping, but as associative and individual. New mothers need the vibrant energy and enthusiasm of the maiden archetype in their postpartum care. The lack of natural social feminine support during the postpartum period has lead to the organization of postpartum doulas, who provide their support services after birth in exchange for money. But postpartum care need not be commercialized.  

A woman's husband should not have to focus on household duties, but should be freed to focus on his wife. He should be loosed from the responsibility of answering the door so that he can more effectively guard his family's gate while his wife is still in the stream of bliss or sorrow generated by her birth. He should be able to forget about laundry and meals so he can hold his wife through the new emotions and fears that come with a baby - so he can experience the bonding moments with his wife. I point out the freeing of the husband from these tasks because of the obvious notion - to me - that a new mother should not have to worry about them. 

The role of the maiden goes beyond freeing the family from the household chores to ministering to the mother. This may mean tending to the mother's hygiene and physical appearance so she can feel beautiful as well as loved. It may mean serving the mother through massage to help her body relax and feel physically supported and cared for. It can mean searching for ways to ease nursing, shopping for groceries and unexpected needs, and providing nourishing food and herbal solutions for discomfort or other issues. 

This role in postpartum is where the maiden's learning under the crone archetypes of wise women and herbal healers can be put into practice. In this facet of service, the "maid" portion of the maiden comes into play, and the spirit of joyful service can be gloriously applied to the easing of mothers' lives. Although the life of a modern young woman holds no space for this role in postpartum service, it is something for which the current generation of mothers should consider preparing their daughters. It used to be a common, unremarkable, societal norm for young female relatives of a new mother to go to her to serve throughout the birth process and support the family.

For obvious reasons, this post-partum relationship between a mother and one or more maidens is beneficial for the mother. It can also be beneficial for the maiden, showing her what a postpartum experience can be when a mother and family feel supported and cared for. Maidens intending to be mothers and willing to offer postpartum care should serve as they will wish to be served in their postpartum experience, and meditate on the idea that the modern postpartum struggle is not necessarily the fault of husbands. Birth is a transformative, exclusively female journey, and young women can dig deep into their blood to remember their birthright role in the supportive sisterhood of postpartum care.